Hemp won the 1992 gold medal for pole-vaulting in Barcelona Spain, and he has crapped the bed ever since. Destined for greatness, but poisoned with mediocrity, this poor excuse for a modern man has conceded to being average, in a culture that doesn’t have the guts to tell him he sucks. Hemp is unknowingly given one last chance to reignite his once beaming light, if he is just willing to take the leap.

Dr. Millen, better known as Atlantis, is a dedicated marine biologist working at the local aquarium, where she lives her dream daily, studying and caring for all creatures of the sea. Atlantis and Hemp attended High School together, but Hemp was too popular and far too busy captaining the pole-vaulting team to notice the nerdy Miss Millen. Time and memories passed as Atlantis spent her first 11 years out of college in the Antarctic, waiting for it to melt. A coincidental meeting offers Atlantis another chance to really get to know our hero. She’s the hot chick Hemp should have no shot at, but 11 years in sub-zero temperatures has clearly affected her decision making, and the truth is, she actually likes Hemp. For his sake, root for the guy and hope he doesn’t blow this one would ya?

People hate stereotyping, but Cat is a gambling, drinking, Irishman, anything else is just simply untrue. This is not an insult; these are his self described words on e-harmony. “Looking for someone who can handicap with me. Life’s a gamble, and I’m taking the over.” He is the guy you want to have a beer with, just not your last beer

Owen is an author, visionary, and political activist. He wants 5 minutes in a room alone with the guy who took away his trans-fat. Owen dreams of the team “Winnebago-ing” cross-country on an adventure of epic proportions, bent on not changing the world, but fixing it.

Fella is the guy who doesn’t want to talk to you, and is not interested in your point of view. Yet oddly enough, he is the friend that you make sure you talk to first. He would prefer to be left alone, but can never seem to escape being at the center of all goings on. People always want to know what Fella thinks, while miraculously he has no interest whatsoever in the outcome. He is a living oxymoron and a sociology majors dream. Friend, house-mate, community provider … Ahhh Christ, he’s just the Fella.

Fraaaank is the guy that everyone wishes they were inside, but it’s just too damn hard, which is why Fraaaank does it. He is the MVP of the team. He is not the guy hitting the walk off homerun; he’s the guy backing up the throw to third that got away last inning, keeping the score tied, so some juicehead can hit it out of the park in the bottom of the frame. Without Fraaaank there is no victory.